Unfair Fight

I never really understood the notion of a fair fight. Sure, if it's a structured competition where bets are waged and consideration for opponent size has been made, then there should be rules that ought to be followed. But if you are faced with having to fight for real, then why in God's name would you fight fairly? Perhaps it's just because I'm a girl and, generally speaking, a girl gets at most one or two tries to take down an opponent. So why wouldn't you fight "dirty" as soon as you could?

Case in point: Thumb War

Honestly, look at the size of his thumb. My thumb is easily 1/3 the size of his. This is clearly not at all fair. I'm left no other option but to fight dirty. I use all options available. Mainly I tag team his thumb with my thumb and index finger. Using my thumb to lure him in, I then wrestle him down with a surprise attack from my index finger, and as a final move I quickly position my thumb into lockdown position for the winning move. Unfortunately, even all this doesn't always work. His thumb isn't just bigger but ridiculously strong. I can't always hold him down. If the situation is dire I employ the "hey look over there" move to try and distract him or simply call in the cavalry (i.e. my other hand) to hold down his thumb for the requisite 10 seconds in order to win.

Some may call my techniques "cheating." I beg to differ; I feel I simply offer a more efficient way to win an unfair fight.